
Monday, December 29, 2008
Saturday, December 27, 2008
Thursday, December 25, 2008
OMG. I feel like a squished tomato in that bull run in Mexico.
Do you know what I am talking about? I am going to take a 3 year old painkiller from my boob job. Hope it works. God help me.
Why should just 1/2 the Clark family have strep on Christmas?


Looking for a Dr open this AM. Jake and I woke up with sore throats. I am hoping mine is sinus. Jake is pretty puny. He is so puny is he laying on the couch staring at his Guitar Hero. He loves all of his gifts from Santa, as does Brandon. Greg has gone back to bed and I am here alone trying to figure out all of these video games that Greg wanted the boys to have. I don't like video games...probably because I am not good at them. This is a true test of my patience.
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Strep...Strap...Smep...Smap.






Greg has strep too (and an ear infection). While he was in bed, I took the boys to the beach (strep...rashy booty and all)! It was about 80 degrees...maybe warmer. :) Afterwards, we came home and showered, ate dinner, and headed out to look at Christmas lights. The only way I was able to talk Brandon into going was if I allowed him to eat Cheezit's in the car (he was tired and just wanted to go to bed...you'd think he had strep or something). We drove through a few neighborhoods in Seminole. Mommy of the year here let them hang out of the sunroof. They had fun and Brandon was glad he made the trek.
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
The excitement of the Air Hog Cars
Thanks Auntie Teen! (don't think your computer audio isn't working...it's my 1997 technology that doesn't have audio).
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Sunday, December 7, 2008
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
She didn't even apologize...
I was rearended in carline yesterday. The stupid b**ch didn't even get out of her car. Florida crackheads.
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Jake's Journal Entry
my mom is crase. my dad poopes like crase. i love katie vare much. win my bruthr poops it is stece. katie is brudfl. mom slepps u lot. my grame is fun. pope has the best videogams. the wun i like the much is the gtrgame. i like wake football. my dog brcs u lot. i like alubama. sno dus dad. i am good at pusls. skulle is fun. i like anumls. i am triing to red. i like photics. i have a grfid. i have a club hus. i like prlaing bascitboll with my frens.
TRANSLATION:
My mom is crazy. My dad poops like crazy. I love Katie very much. When my brother poops it is stinky. Katie is beautiful. Mom sleeps a lot. My grandma is fun. Popi has the best video games. The one I like the most is the guitar game. I like watching football. My dog barks a lot. I like Alabama. So does my dad. I am good at puzzles. School is fun. I like animals. I am trying to read. I like projects. I have a girlfriend. I have a club house. I like playing basketball with my friends.
TRANSLATION:
My mom is crazy. My dad poops like crazy. I love Katie very much. When my brother poops it is stinky. Katie is beautiful. Mom sleeps a lot. My grandma is fun. Popi has the best video games. The one I like the most is the guitar game. I like watching football. My dog barks a lot. I like Alabama. So does my dad. I am good at puzzles. School is fun. I like animals. I am trying to read. I like projects. I have a girlfriend. I have a club house. I like playing basketball with my friends.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Meet the Street Cleaner

Jake's teacher sent home a "meet me" bag, kind of like a "show and tell" type thing. He was thrilled about this, and spent quite a bit of time rehearsing what he was going to say about each item he put in his bag.
The bag contained:
An Alabama football - "because I like to play football and watch Alabama football with my daddy"
Basketball trophy from YMCA - "this is from when I played basketball in Alabama"
Dead spider in a clear plastic cube from Denise's trip to Afghanistan - "because I like to look at bugs"
His latest McDonald's toy - "from when I went to McDonald's"
He also had a questionnaire to fill out:
The thing I do best is "play football".
I like to "play basketball" with my friends.
My favorite meal is "fish sticks".
I want to be a "street cleaner" when I grow up.
He is turning into his father quickly with his passion for football and sports. He prefers to watch football on TV over cartoons. He and Greg have been throwing the football to each other at night and Jake is getting pretty good at it. He also has a skateboard which he has picked up rather quickly.
It was nice to see him so excited about school this morning. The "Meet Me" bag really helped. Greg and I are worried about him. He says he plays by himself at school. We find that hard to believe (he is the king of white lies). I am going to email his teacher today just in case....we want to make sure he is adjusting to the new school.
Monday, September 15, 2008
Sunday, September 14, 2008
My Weekend with Jakester


While Brandon and Greg were driving Papa to Alabama, Jake and I had plenty of special moments together. If only Jake could remember them. He keeps crying (much like a 2-year old) that we are supposed to be on a "special date". It honestly is breaking my heart. We were home bound all day today due to gastrointestinal issues (which has lead to lots of laundry). Other than that, we have been on the go ever since I picked him up from school Friday.
When I picked Jake up at school on Friday, from the carline, I could see him crying with the biggest crocodile tears I have ever seen. The principal was standing over him, and then talking in her walkie talkie. I am thinking "Oh Lord. What has he done now"? I shouted out the window "What is wrong? Is everything ok". (I didn't get out of Greg's truck because I didn't want to get scolded by the car line Nazi, and they couldn't hear me screaming over the dual exhaust.) Brandon's teacher appeared, and she sent Jake to the truck. She leaned in and said Jake was crying because he was looking for Brandon. Jake had forgotten Brandon didn't go to school Friday. It was sweet, but at the same time so very heart breaking. Jake and Brandon have really been watching out for each other lately.
We had dinner at Joan's Friday night, and then the two of us went to a concert in the park in Seminole. The band could have very well been the worst I have ever heard, but the memories of Jake dancing in the grass will never be forgotten. He would instruct me to dance "apart" and then "together".
Saturday we went to Sharon's house for a jewelry party. All the ladies were smitten with Jake. Afterwards, we shopped for our dinner guests, Hannah and Abby. Jake picked the menu of popcorn shrimp, bowtie noodles, and green beans. We played outside, and inside, and outside again. At one point, a game of hide and seek turned into them playing dress-up in my closet. (Does this mean my clothes look like costumes? or they just have mature taste?) We then bathed and watched Beauty and the Beast, eating lots of popcorn, bananas and pineapple. At one point when I had the TV on, I asked Hannah if she was allowed to watch Sponge Bob. Her reply was "only if my mom doesn't see me watching it". I was on the phone with Christine when she said that. We both laughed hysterically! We had a great night with the girls. Rachael (who looked drop dead gorgeous) and Michael picked them up at 9:30. Rachael and I are trading babysitting like Erin and I did. Her girls are easy. I hope my boys behave for her.
I will spare you of today's details. Brandon and Greg are due home at 8pm. We missed them.
The Cycle of Life..in Blue
I have been hearing this term quit a bit lately. Seeing former Jazzercise students, and them commenting on "the cycle of life". I am married now, have two kids, and a little more grown up than the last time I saw some of these ladies. It makes me realize I have come along way. I am proud of myself and my life.
Lipstick. It's my American Express. I have always carried it with me, whether in my pocket or my purse. Unfortunately for my mom, dad and sister, they had the displeasure of wearing my lipstick on various articles of clothing. Being the forgetful person I was (and still am) I would leave it in my pocket and when my mom did the laundry...voila! Revlon for all! I think I always felt worse for my dad when his underwear would come out of the dryer with big pink splotches on them. A woman can play off a pink blob on their clothes, but not a man. Despite many threats, I still did it, accidentally of course. I still do. Some things never change.
So back to "the cycle"... I opened my dryer to find blue splotches all over the place. Who in their right mind would have put a blue crayon in their pocket? Hmmm. Jake said it was Brandon. Brandon is out of town. (I really think it was Brandon.) I have bright blue spots on more articles of clothing than I have time to list.
Paybacks...in blue.
Lipstick. It's my American Express. I have always carried it with me, whether in my pocket or my purse. Unfortunately for my mom, dad and sister, they had the displeasure of wearing my lipstick on various articles of clothing. Being the forgetful person I was (and still am) I would leave it in my pocket and when my mom did the laundry...voila! Revlon for all! I think I always felt worse for my dad when his underwear would come out of the dryer with big pink splotches on them. A woman can play off a pink blob on their clothes, but not a man. Despite many threats, I still did it, accidentally of course. I still do. Some things never change.
So back to "the cycle"... I opened my dryer to find blue splotches all over the place. Who in their right mind would have put a blue crayon in their pocket? Hmmm. Jake said it was Brandon. Brandon is out of town. (I really think it was Brandon.) I have bright blue spots on more articles of clothing than I have time to list.
Paybacks...in blue.
Friday, September 12, 2008
fate
I wasn't offered the "diaper changing" job. The most horrendous message was left on my voicemail relaying the news. If anyone knows how to transfer a land line voice message to the Internet, please email the instructions to jazzerville@tampabay.rr.com. The world needs to hear the insensitive message, all while chuckling at me.
PS: He is gone. It's time to dry out.
PS: He is gone. It's time to dry out.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Coming soon to a city near you....
Sunday, September 7, 2008
I am taking my drawers back.





I was complaining to Christine this morning about all the little "projects" Jake and Brandon have going on all over the house. It occurred to me they needed a designated area to use their scissors, boxes, tape, glue, string..whatever they conjure up to make a "project". So I cleaned and rearranged their room...and then went to Kmart to shop. Aside from the fact that some lady that probably didn't have a green card almost ran over my wonderful sweet boys, it was a successful shopping trip. (I called her a f'*ing bitch..hope the kids don't remember that one). They had a card table and four chairs, and a 6 drawer plastic organizer all on sale. We loaded it up and came home and put the room together. It is really organized..thepictures don't do my hard work justice. The good news is my coffee table and end table drawers are no longer stuffed with crayons, markers, and Spiderman coloring books.
Saturday, September 6, 2008
Football Widow
Friday, September 5, 2008
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
He isn't fibbing.

I emailed Jake's teacher today because Jake keeps complaining he is getting lost. It took him complaining everyday for me to realize he wasn't fibbing. He now has an escort to and from the lunchroom, which is the holding area for kids that are car riders. The school is atleast twice the size of his where he was in Huntsville. I can't blame him. Brandon already knows how to get to everything. It irritates Jake.
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